You want to give me how much money?
Image courtesy of pfala, via Flickr (CC)
Yesterday we received a fax in the office from one Mr. Jossef Dansul from South Africa. Mr. Dansul was very excited to let me (or whoever since he didn’t specify who the fax was for) know that he had a sum in excess of $20 million US that he wanted to make me (or again, whoever) the beneficiary of.
Well, isn’t this exciting I thought to my self. I’m going to keep reading. Apparently a very wealthy man passed away leaving behind this huge sum of money that only Mr. Dansul and the man’s wife knew about. Well only those two people, and now the whole CTW office.
“The wife has mandated,” stop.
Mandated is a strong word. We’re clearly dealing with a very strong woman here. Continue.
“…mandated me to seek for a reliable trust worthy person,” stop.
I am both reliable and trust worthy, I swear. But how did Mr. Dansul know this? Or did he intend someone else in the office to read his letter. That pesky little greeting with no direction is really beginning to bother me now. Continue.
“…person who will stand as beneficiary to receive the funds for proper and profitable investment…there is no risk…she has agreed to offer you 30 per cent of the funds for this assistance.”
Let’s see, 30 per cent of $20 million is roughly $6 million. Well I can think of 102 different ways that I could use $6 million in both a proper and profitable way. I’m a new grad, so student loans would be number one priority. I’m also moving to Alberta, so perhaps a home in my new town would be more comfy than an apartment.
Naturally Mr. Dansul would appreciate an early response and the matter must be kept secret, as this would be a highly confidential business transaction.
Well Mr. Dansul, your secret is safe with me, the CTW staff and our faithful blog followers. Don’t worry, we’re all very reliable and trustworthy people. Go ahead, send us your money.
Just one question, who exactly were you planning on sending it to?
- K.F.
